A Bit about Anger. And a Bit about God.

an·ger (aŋ′gər)

noun

1.     a feeling of displeasure resulting from injury, mistreatment, opposition, etc., and usually showing itself in a desire to fight back at the supposed cause of this feeling

2.     OBSOLETE pain or trouble

Origin: ME < ON angr, distress < IE base *angh-, constricted > L angustus, narrow,angustia, tightness, Gr anchein, to squeeze, anchonē, a strangling, Ger angst, fear  from http://www.yourdictionary.com/anger

So, anger.  It happens.   

And when something happens, I think it is good to talk about it so we all know what in the world is going on here.

So today’s Table Talk turned out to be about anger.

I wanted the kiddos to realize some things about anger.

First, I wanted them to realize that anger can be a good thing, because it shows that the person experiencing anger is a person who FEELS.  It’s pretty cool to be a person who feels and feels things deeply.   

And second, I wanted them to present to them a picture of anger.  To me, anger is like fire.  Fire can be a very positive thing when it is controlled.  In fact, we control fire at our house on a daily basis because we have a gas stove.  And I happen to be one of those people who loves to burn candles.   We light candles on an almost daily basis.

But uncontrolled fire is a nightmare.  I know this better than some people.  We lost our house to a fire about ten years ago.  I don’t think I’ll ever forget standing outside on a cold February morning watching flames shoot out of the top of our house.  As bad as that was, it was worse when I got the phone call about my Dad and his welding accident.  Third degree burns covered his chest and back.  It could have cost him his life.  Thank God that my Dad is fine now . . .

The point is . . . fire is GOOD, but only when it is controlled.

And so it is with anger.  If you care about something enough to get angry about it, then you’ll be motivated to make some necessary changes.  It can be a very GOOD thing.

But if you let anger control you . . . whoa Nellie!  It can be just as dangerous as an uncontrolled fire.

It takes a lot of strength to control your anger.

It’s super easy to tell somebody to control their anger, but it is not so easy to teach them HOW to control their anger.  This is a topic I’m interested in, so I’ll be talking about it again . . .

But for now, let me just share with you what I shared with my kiddos.

We all need tools to help us when we don’t know how to help ourselves.

My good friend Joy works in a hospital.  She’s got a gift for calming anxious, fearful or unreasonable people down.  She teaches them to breathe in through their nose, like they are smelling a flower and then out through their mouths, slowly, like they are blowing out a candle.

I let the kiddos each light the candle, and then I let each of them blow the candle out.  Then I told them that I was going to leave the candle burning most of the day.  I told them that I wanted them to remember when they looked at it that if they felt themselves getting angry, well, then they should breathe in through their nose like they were smelling something really great.  Perhaps they could pretend they were smelling a flower.   Perhaps they’d like to pretend to be smelling fresh cookies or fresh laundry.  Mmmmm.  And I told them to remember:  it takes a STRONG person to control anger.

I told them about President  Einsenhower who is regarded by historians as one of the top ten Presidents of the United States. ( Thank you, Wikipedia!)   I told them that he was General and what General does.  I asked them what kind of person gets to lead an Army.  They had some great words for me:  brave, leader, daring.  I had a word of my own:  STRONG.  

I told them a story about President Einsenhower's childhood.  He had older siblings and it was Halloween.  They were going trick or treating and he wanted go, too.  His mother said that he was too little and he must stay home.  He stayed, but he was very angry.  He went into the yard and began to attack a tree.  By the time he finished with that tree, his hands were bleeding.

His mother looked at him and said "You must learn to control your anger."  He did, and he grew up to be a great man.

Now for the God bit; at our house we talk about God a lot.  I believe that if we need help, He’s there for us. 

He’s got some ideas on what to do to prevent anger.  First, try to prevent anger.   Use a calm voice when you’re talking to other people.  (Proverbs 15:1)  But if it happens, don’t let it control you and hurt you and somebody else.  (Ephesians 4:26).   And when you breathe deeply, breathe a prayer, too.  God’s listening and He wants to help.  (James 1:5).